I have dreams frequently.
They are never the same dream, but they always have one girl.
She is not always the main woman, she is often just in the background.
I know this girl.
She was the root of my thought process today. She is the reason I'm scared of trust, the reason I am reluctant to simply believe.
But, the dreams are never bad. They are always pretty good, actually.
It's when I wake up, they become bad. I look back at how good the dream was, and it upsets me that I have to live my life in the real world again.
At the same time, I'm scared to go back to sleep, because I am scared of this girl. I know that I will be upset when I wake up.
Now here's the thing.
She has found a way out.
Obviously, since she is a real person, of course I see her often. But, its the dream version I have started, well, believing is real.
The dreams always involve this woman in love with me. I have often become so delusional as to believe it in real life. I promise, I am not crazy. I obviously control myself, but when the realization comes that the dreams will never actually be, I almost break.
You break me.
More to continue later.
This is just a small part of a very long story.